So, I haven’t written in my blog in some time, and I have had several people asking about how the Caffs are doing, so I am going to try to do an update.  However, I can’t do it now – with end of government fiscal year and end of quarter and other aspects of life that are overwhelming, I have supreme writer’s block.  However, I just want to point your attention towards a fine young man who definitely does not have “writer’s block”.  Young Nick Cafferky, only a student at Virginia Tech for less than a month, is already a “Sports Staff Writer” for the Virginia Tech Collegiate Times.  As if that weren’t enough, his first byline as a writer, is a front page, above the fold article entitled “Rugby on the Rise”.  Please check it out at http://www.collegiatetimes.com/frontpagepdfs/20090917.pdf.

     Anyway – that is all I wanted to share right now.  All is well with the Caffs, God be praised, and I continue to narrate our life on Facebook.  If you are still following our exploits, thanks for your interest, comments and prayers.  If you have not, perhaps I will update this forum after the quarter ends – or maybe while I’m traveling on business next week to Seattle (I figure I will have plenty of alone quiet time at least in my hotel room.)    

     I hope you all are moved by the fact that nothing can stop a person who has motive power, talent and a desire to achieve.  Nick is on his way to realizing his dreams, and we will continue to dream big for both of our sons.  They are extraordinary young men.  I wish I could take credit for that but Mike and I are just blessed that God chose us to be Brendan and Nick’s parents.

      Have a blessed day and may you all realize a hope or a dream this week.  I know we have.  With gratitude and great faith in God, in the Name of Yeshua the Christ!

/elisa

Random notes that I really should just put in my journal but I think I’m so witty and entertaining, that I am publishing them so that I can inflict my opinions and remarks on life on anyone silly enough to subscribe to my feed:

1)    Sleep is NOT overrated, no matter what you hear from brilliant facebook publishers.  When a person doesn’t sleep for a couple of days, while eating nothing but leftovers from her son’s party Saturday nights and the “m&m”s from the office, there will be a crash around day 3.  Suffice it to say that some people might find their organs going on strike for rest and sustenance.  When a person’s digestive system just stops working, it doesn’t matter if you stop eating.  Bad things will happen.  Just trust me on this on, OK?  Make different mistakes.

2)   Being a sales rep again, while providing me with a great job and pretty good money to support the family, is sucking the very life out of me.  I thought I was going to die when Q1 closed with me not on my number.  Now it is the end of Q2, and this has been a rough quarter, to say the least.  All I can say is that I might just physically cease to live if I don’t start closing some business.  I just don’t have the stomach for this rollercoaster.  The only way to flatten out this ride is to get the big win earlier in the game.  Please pray that Q3 is an “UPSIDE” quarter, and the proverbial rally cap of me twilight of my sales career.  I have never mixed work and prayer so much in my life – the only way we will lose is if it is just not God’s Will for SAS to proliferate my territory right now.  In the Name of Christ Yeshua, I pray for 200%.  In fact, I pray that I am at least 200%, and still not the best producer in NSG.  Even though my boss is totally cracking me, I think he is a fine human being, our team is just so awesome and our products are above average across the board and some are even pretty amazing.  It must be God’s will.  [SIDEBAR:  it is worth noting that, this week, for the first of what will probably be many times, my boss told me have to stop the “God Willing stuff” that I always say when I talk about deals.  Evidently, someone might get offended by my proclamations.  Well, I’m trying to quit cussing all of the time.  First things, first, right?]

3)   It may be “just a car”, but the whole act of considering trading the AMG, then shopping for a car, then the test drive with the cute sales guy, then showing the boys, then the actual transaction, then having something NEW in my life that I chose instead of was chosen for me, well that was fun.   This is the first decision I have made since the accident that I made thinking only about me.  Of course, I my guys all figure prominently in all of my decisions, however this was the first time in years that I was selfish.  I won’t be making a habit of it, but I appreciate the opportunity.  So thanks be to God, whose Grace covered this whole thing – from me letting go of something I really cared about from the past to making a decision based solely on how I “felt” about something.  My feelings are rarely even in the top 10 evaluation criteria in the choices that I make in life these days.  Gratitude abounds.  [SIDEBAR:  I really do have a crush on my car guy and I really hope he doesn’t read this, but if he does, so what.  I wonder if he would be glad or completely grossed out.  Anyway – carguy, if you are reading this, pretend like you didn’t when I see you again.  You know - if I need an ashtray or something else I don’t use.]

4)   Nick having minor surgery this week.  It is a urinary tract thing and the result of the surgery will be that we don’t have to catheter him anymore.  I’m sure you are wondering why we didn’t do this before.  I am wondering that, too.  With that, please pray that all goes according to plan and is completely routine, and that Nick is much better for having this surgery.  Nick’s pre-op was today, Mike is going out of town tomorrow and Thursday, and then Nick’s surgery is Friday.  Please continue to pray for us as we deal with details in the new normal life we are living.  Please know that your prayers DO matter, and I DO feel you lifting us up, and God is pleased when you intercede for us (for anyone – not just us).  Thanks for living la vida loco with the Caffs.

5)   Props to the Oracle Alumni who have made a generous contribution to the Nick Cafferky Special Needs Trust.  I cannot properly express my gratitude for the quality of the “fellow travelers” in this crazy industry that have been my colleagues and friends over the years. It seems almost crazy to remember that I was pregnant with Nick when I first met them some of these folks and, remarkably, some are still part of my life. [SIDEBAR:  The “fellow travelers” is a metaphor that Pat Kerrigan, a Sybase+ friend, used that I always thought was so apt. I actually think it’s a “Lord of the Rings” concept.   I will mention here that the Kerrigan Family:  Pat, Kathy (or Pathy and Kat as I sometimes say) Mike and Shannon have been “with” us consistently since the first day they heard about Nick.  If you guys are reading this, please know that you are always on my prayer list and you have been so great to us during this weird/tragic/uplifting/horrible/wonderful/blessed season in our family’s life.]    

6)   Nick just blossoms like a flower with each friend that has come home from school and each social interaction he has.   I realize he was starving for some real-life interaction with his peer group.  I think that we are at full friend capacity (most everyone Nick hangs out with is in town and inclined to hang out at CampCaff) right now, and Nick is just thriving.  He actually worked out AND showered last week.  He had a party on Saturday night, and he took  the reins on all party management, including delegating tasks to his friends and caregiver, Dennis.  In fact, I am really just now noticing how much Nick has been trying to be the boss of Nick.  I am pretty happy about  this and I am enjoying watching him thrive for the first time in a very long time.  Thanks be to God.

7)   I really enjoy “facebook”.   I have been pleasantly surprised by those who I have connected and reconnected with.  I wish I could just blog on my facebook notes, but I know most of you reading this don’t do the facebook thing.  Probably because your kids won’t let you.  Well, don’t NOT do the facebook thing (I will just call it FB from now on) just because your kids don’t want you to!  Just tell them that they don’t have to “friend” you if it makes them uncomfortable.  These kids think it’s all about them, when they need to realize that it is really all about ME.  No wait, it’s all about Jesus, that’s right.  JThat is all I have time for now.  However, I do have a pretty funny post-party story to tell so I hope to share that, since I am so witty and entertaining.  I do it all for the audience…. Anyway – remind me to tell you about the “Vodka Incident” on Sunday.  

Peace,

Nick and the B’s Mom 

     So here we are, almost two years into the “new normal”.  By all accounts, one would agree that the Cafferky family has weathered the storm, and that we are getting acclimated to the new climate of our lives.  Yet, each day brings new challenges, and to continue the weather metaphor, there will always be storms and uncomfortable conditions that  remind us that we don’t live in a place like San Diego, but rather, more like upstate New York or Minnesota.  No offense to natives of those regions, it is just fact that a geography that considers their four seasons as “June, July, August and winter”, does not exude feelings of constant comfort, easy travel and spontaneous outdoor activities.  That is kind of like what our “new normal” life is like:  dressing properly for varying conditions, having the right equipment to cope with unpredictable weather and difficult terrain or knowing when to concede to the environment and seek assistance or just stay home.     Try to imagine how difficult it is for a young man who has always been strong, athletic and courageous (or stupid – often the same thing) to find himself in this body that will not work with him.  Quadriplegia isn’t just being paralyzed; it is being trapped inside of a body that will not respond to orders and does not provide warnings of conditions that could be, best case, embarrassing, and worst case, life threatening.  Nick has handled the embarrassing things with a sense of humor and God-given grace that has eased this situation for us all.  However, Nick is not necessarily vigilant when it comes to being proactive with respect to injuries, complications or symptoms that should be explored.  Of course he hasn’t!  For his entire life, he has had that “shake it off” attitude – whether he was hit by a baseball or had his mug popped by Mike Sarson (old story – ask Nick about it – I think the video is on YouTube somewhere.)  Now, however, he, and we, MUST be aware of every single mark on his body, bump or scratch because when you have no sensation, you have no warning system.  I used to think it would be almost good to have no feeling in my body – life without chronic pain would be awesome.  But, without pain or discomfort, we will usually miss symptoms that, when left untreated, could be quite dangerous.     About six weeks ago, while we were in Blacksburg, Nick got a blister on the bottom of his right foot.  It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time, and we did the bandaid/Neosporin thing.  It started to heal (or so we thought), so we didn’t really worry about it.  However, last week, while cleaning the sore and dressing it, Mike saw that it had become an ugly wound, inflaming his whole foot and looking like it was getting worse.  So – Mike made an appointment to have a doctor look at it.  Net/net:  When our beloved Dr. Haggerty saw it, she immediately took action to treat it as a serious symptom.  In a healthy person, by the time a wound could get this infected, it would be so painful there would be no way a person could go without treatment.  However, with no sensation below his chest, and no ability to even look at the bottom of his own foot, Nick couldn’t know that this was starting to fester.  So Dr. Haggerty got Nick checked into Fairfax Hospital [Sidebar:  We had to wait 4 hours for a room, but it was worth it b/c we got a private room with two beds, woohoo!]     Truth be told, I totally lost it when they called me to tell me that Nick had to be admitted.  I’m sure you all can appreciate my disdain for hospitals and all of the uncomfortable feelings that come rushing through my entire self when I think about my young man, once again, in a hospital bed.  But, thank you Dana – who helped me keep it together to wrap up my work and go meet the family, and thanks to Nick for being his usual “this ain’t nothin’ but a thang” attitude.  I mean, all he was upset about was having to miss the Caps game.  [Sidebar:  if you all know how that worked out, it’s probably good that he and his friends weren’t watching the game at our house or they may have trashed the place or started drinking – both unacceptable actitivies!]     So now, I am at home with Brendan while Mike hangs out with Nick at the hospital.  This morning, a specialist told us that Nick dodged a bullet and this was caught before anything really bad happened.  For that, we thank Dad and Praise God.  He will be on the extreme antibiotic therapy for at least another 48 hours, but we are hopeful he will be able to come home on Saturday.  And, we really are pros at this hospital stuff, so it hasn’t been as traumatic as it used to be.     I would like to share more about my personal feelings about all of this, but there is no time now.  However, I just know that, for the rest of Nick’s life, he (and we) will have to remain vigilant in his care.  We have to recognize limitations and know when to seek medical assistance or take a rest or whatever.  As I said at the beginning, we are adjusting to a new climate in Nick’s life.  Every once in a while, I get so sad that my boy’s life will be so much harder than it could have been.  I also struggle with feelings of guilt (are we doing enough? are we vigilant and aware? Are we too lazy?) and fear of the future.  And then, of course, there is the insidious bouts of self pity – the “Why us?”  “Why can’t it be me and not Nick”  “What did we do to deserve this” and the worst one “I just can’t take it anymore”.  But today is not the day to delve into my fears and depression.  Today, I am glad that Nick is OK, our family has a plan to deal with the current crisis, and, as always, God will get us through it all.  As Bob Dylan and my friend KimE says:  We don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.     I just wanted to let you all know what was going on.  Nick will be fine and he continues to respond to the antibiotics.  Please pray that he continues to heal, his nurses stay competent and pretty and wise, and that his doctors are really paying attention to Nick’s wound as well as Nick as a person.  Also please pray that Mike and my work is not negatively impacted and that we don’t drop any balls regarding Brendan’s needs and other family and friend obligations.  Trust me – we would much rather be helping others than being the perpetual family charity case.  But, as always, we appreciate your prayers and all of the kindnesses you continue to provide to our family.  The Cafferky family continues to keep on keepin’ on.  God be praised.     Just a quick side note:  Many thanks to KellyC., DianeP., CristyR. and DanaN for planning the big fun Cinco de Mayo Tech people reunion party last week that doubled as a fund raiser for Nick.  I am always so amazed at the generosity and love that so many quality people share with us.  It is pretty comforting to know that we are loved and that our family has such an extended family in our community, in our workplace, in our industry and among all of our old and new friends.  Thanks to all who contributed, and I give it an 80% chance that at least some will get thank you notes!      Thanks for following along.  I will keep you all posted.  Meanwhile, we will have mini-updates on my, Mike’s, Brendan’s and/or Nick’s facebook status’.  If you have “friended” any of us, you will get scoop.     May you all enjoy the blessings and grace that my Lord continues to shower over us all.  Our cup indeed overflows.Shalom!   Nick’s Mom

I read this description in one of my trashy magazines that are such a great escape for me when my brain gets too busy with things to worry about.  The article was about John Travolta and how he is dealing with the death of his teenage son.  Now, I certainly do not have the pain and grief that comes from losing a son.  Obviously, we were so blessed that Nick was saved and continues to adapt to his new self.  However, I seem to be having a harder and harder time with our new normal and where it has left me in my pursuit of happiness and success in life.  Perhaps it is because I haven’t been writing about my feelings and our progress so these thoughts just jumble up in my head and give me a perpetual anxiety attack.  Living life one day at a time is really difficult.  I cannot remember the last day that I didn’t cry at least once.  I can put on the act, walk the walk, talk the talk and keep up with work, but on the inside, I am sometimes just so sad and just fighting the hopelessness that comes with being afraid of whether I can make it another day.  Geez - that sounds so melodramatic, but it’s been how the last month has been for me.  Am I a good mom?  friend?  employee?  partner?  I don’t know.  But I do so want to be.

Hence, I am going to try to post today, to give thanks to some very generous people who have helped us financially, spiritually and with a kindness that I know that I don’t deserve – but my family does – so I thank you all for caring about the Cafferky family, in spite of my shortcomings as a friend, neighbor, employee, partner and sister in Christ.    I’m so embarrassed and tired of begging for money and help when so many other people have needs like ours. 

Please forgive my sporadic updates to those of you who continue to pray for the Cafferky’s and desire to know what is going on with Nick.  I know I have been promising to tell the story of how Jude, who seemed to be our savior as a caregiver, blew up and ended on such a bad note.  I’m still so sad about the whole thing but it is what it is.  However, I just wanted to tell you all the story and get it over with.

Jude, from the Philippines, came to live with us in November, recommended by Josh Basile and his caregiver, Dan.  Jude had just arrived in the United States when we met him and we hired him on the spot.  We were under the impression that we could formally sponsor him for a green card, and thus we could expect that Jude would receive a temporary work permit in a reasonable amount of time so that we could employ him legally.  The immigration lawyer we worked with, gave Jude and his sister, Algerica, the impression that a temporary work permit could be obtained in a 3 – 5 month timeframe.  This proved to be a naïve and overzealous ambition.As I am working in the technology field, supporting National Security Accounts, I knew that the process to get me “cleared” to work with my customers would be imminent.  With that, and frankly, my very strong beliefs in legal immigration and distaste for those who try to get around the rules, I knew that we would have to keep everything on the “up and up” with respect to Nick’s caregiver.  In addition, while we were treating Jude as a visitor to our country, he could not be paid by Nick’s Medicaid benefits.  So we were paying Jude an “allowance” and providing him with our home as his home, until his paperwork went through.  I don’t think that Jude had a full appreciation for the amount of money and time we were spending to help him to help us and how important his legal immigration status was to our ongoing relationship.  When March came, and I was informed by our immigration attorney [SIDEBAR:  His name is Mr. Winston Tsai of Bethesda, MD and I DO NOT RECOMMEND HIM AT ALL.  He is rude and condescending and habitually misled Jude, Algerica and me) that we could not expect any movement on Jude’s status for at least another six months.  At that time, I called my congressman, Frank Wolf’s, office and I was educated by a very kind Judy McCary about the real process.  I found that we were so far from where we needed to be that Jude, as competent and as helpful as he was, may not be the person for us.

Since we were losing so many Medicaid benefits, we decided to hire another caregiver to work with Nick during the day – one who would meet the citizenship requirements for our benefits.  My thought was that we would continue to have Jude live with us, pay him a living allowance and have him be a part of our family, helping us as he could, while we continued the process for his green card.  Unfortunately, that meant that Jude’s pay would be cut in half, as many of his caregiver responsibilities would be handled by our new guy, Dennis. Still, what we were paying him plus room and board, was a strain on our finances and we didn’t want to take money out of Nick’s fund for this. 

Evidently, this cut in pay – which I continue to maintain was not a salary but rather living expenses so that he could build his life here as we endeavored to make him legal – caused him great dismay.  He was concerned about supporting his family at home, but we were totally open to him finding other work during the day to augment his family allowance.  I think that Jude didn’t understand that our provision of his own room and all living expenses (including the fact that we were paying for his immigration process) was actually a compensatory benefit.  In addition, Jude felt that he was being taken advantage of in some way, and that the new guy, Dennis, was just leaving work for Jude to do.  I really tried to find some way to get Jude some additional work as well as have him help us with the chaos in our home.  However, this did not suit Jude.  At the end of March, Jude came to me, in the middle of a work day, and broke the news to me that he was going to move out and live with his cousins in Maryland.  This really shocked me for a variety of reasons and I was very upset.  Unfortunately, I had to go out to a scheduled appointment, and it was a Friday so Jude was leaving for the weekend.  I begged him to wait on his decision and that we would talk about it when he returned on Sunday and I was sure we could work it out.So Sunday came – and Jude did not show up.  On Monday morning, he did not call, he did not post, and Mike and I realized that he must have quit on us.  I sent text messages and called him with no answer.  Honestly, he has not spoken to me since that Friday.THe next Wednesday, Algerica, his sister, called me – but I was too emotional to deal with the situation (it was end of Q1, I was trying to close a deal, we were leaving to visit Lauren in CA in 3 days and needless to say I was stretched beyond my limits.)  Mike talked to Algerica who indicated that Jude had “not yet decided whether he would be working for us anymore.”  Mike, who was not as much of an advocate for Jude as I was, let Algerica know that when someone doesn’t show up for work and doesn’t call and refuses to answer calls and text messages, that they have made the decision  already.  I mean come on – I was hoping that Jude was loyal to Nick and wanted to be there for him, and I thought that we were going out of our way to help Jude with his immigration issues, and trying to make him feel like part of our family.  Obviously, if he could just not show up or call, he was not committed to my son’s well being as I had thought.  And that, closed the door for us.  So on April 3^rd, we left for CA, sad that our plans were changing but resigned to it.Then, weirdly, Jude (through Algerica and email – we still have not spoken to him since he left) indicated that he wanted to come back.  Well, that isn’t going to happen.  In fact, I now believe that he did this all to “call our bluff” – like see how bad you need me….now you will give me what I desire.  Well, the Caffs don’t respond well at all to ultimatums and silly games.  THEN – Jude sent Mike an email that sort of indicated that I was the problem and that he wanted to come back if Mike wanted him.  I guess Jude really misread our family dynamic, because I was his advocate from day one and he burned that bridge.So now we have Dennis from 9 – 5.  He doesn’t do the bowel treatments and he doesn’t do all of the stuff that Jude did to keep things orderly and Nick exercised and bathed, etc.  But, I am the only one that seems to mind that.  And truthfully, we really need to focus on getting help in Blacksburg for Nick, so this just expedited the inevitable, as Jude could not go to VT with Nick without the proper immigration status.There is more to the story, but that is the net/net.  Jude wanted more than we could legally provide to him.  Honestly, I have never met a person with such a servant’s heart yet was so prideful at the same time.  With that, Nick doesn’t care and Mike doesn’t care, so we continue to persevere with the help we have now and we are praying that we will find the right help for Nick when he leaves for his Freshman year at VT.

I feel really bad about how this all ended with Jude.  And I do miss him keeping our home in order.  Although, I do not miss the way he seemed to judge us about the way we live and our disorganized and chaotic life.  I mostly miss him folding the laundry! 

Anyway – that is the Jude story.  If anyone knows of anybody in the New River Valley area (Blacksburg, Christiansburg, Salem, Roanoke, etc.) that wants to consider a caretaker role for Nick, please refer them to me or Mike.  We are hoping we can find someone to live with Nick in his dorm room (maybe a student who is willing to step up to some responsibilities to help Nick in exchange for us paying for his room and board.)  In addition, we will need to have another resource that will be able to help Nick with morning and evening care (showers, bowel treatments, helping him get dressed for the day and in bed at night.)  Please pray for us that we will find the right help.

So I just wanted to get this over with.  I will be following up with another post to talk about where we are now, thank many for the last two fundraisers (The St. Patty’s Day party and the Cinco de Mayo Party) and all those who continue to pray for us and who have been so generous with time and money.  These last two months have really set me back emotionally so I have had a hard time posting, but I will.  Mostly because its the only way to stay in touch when our lives are so busy.

As always, thanks for caring.    Please pray for Jude, that he can find a situation that works for him and his family.  And thank you for your continued prayers for us.   While I feel overwhelmed and sad and melancholy (it didn’t help that I was horribly sick for almost two weeks) - please know that my faith remains strong.  I know that God has a great plan for me, and for my family.  I will continue to place my troubles at the foot of the cross and keep the faith that better days are ahead.  And I humbly ask you all to pray for Brian Murray who has another surgical procedure on Tuesday.  May God give his Doctors and Nurses great wisdom and skill and may their family be blessed with courage and reasons to be grateful.

A couple of shout outs - Jo Anne and Melanie - I couldn’t survive without you.  Luz, Liz and Juls - thanks for keeping me grounded in Christ.  My beloved husband who is walking with me through the fire.  Kelly, Cristy, Dana and Diane - thank you for Tuesday - what a surprise.

 PS - for all of those who donated at the St. Patty’s Day party, we found out that the Kidz Clubhouse is now closed so Mike sent back all of your checks.  If you still want to donate, please make checks to the Nick Cafferky Special Needs Trust.  Unfortunately, this is not a tax deductible trust, so if you can’t do it, please know that we will understand.  I still have lofty goals to send thank you notes - we shall see.  But know that all of you are so appreciated and are always in my prayers.

 Love in Christ,

Elisa “not always a basket case” Cafferky

 

 

This is what he posted on his facebook site the other day (I don’t think he blogs on the wordpress site much anymore).  I wanted to share it with you all.  You would never know from reading this that Nick was actually injured and left a quadriplegic in this place that is still so special to him.  Obviously, like a person, we don’t want to define a place based on one thing that happens, one moment in time. 

By the way - Brendan is crazy awesome, too.  Our family is truly blessed and despite some hardships, the things that really matter seem to be well under the competent management of a merciful and loving God.

From Nick’s Facebook:

Dewey BeachYesterday at 1:01amMost people have that one special place that they have fond memories of. Whether it be their childhood house, there college town, or maybe their vacation home, almost everyone has that place that in their mind is perfect. For me, that place is still Dewey Beach. 

I miss it pretty much every day of every month that I’m not there. It encompasses every memory from the first time my parents gave me the freedom to go get lunch all by myself, to the summer I lived by myself and worked, to last summer and the “Dewey Crew.” I love it so much that it pains me to know it’s a ghost town September through April. 

My dad told me that when the accident happened, his first thought was that it was the end of Dewey for our family, but I could never let that happen. There is so much history there that Dewey means even more now. 

The one thing that I recently thought of was that, out of all the buildings in Dewey, I think my building is the only one with an elevator. Without that, my house in Dewey s out of the question and the beach would be just a memory. I thank God pretty much every day now that elevator exists…ironic because we use to complain it was there when no one used it. 

I honestly don’t know why I wrote this, other than I heard a song that reminded me of the beach; maybe I miss writing a little because it’s harder to do now. I guess I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that help make it the place that is so special to me and that I’m glad it is a place I still look forward to going. 

 

 

So I have received two phone calls, 4 emails and at least 4 subtle hints that I should write more about what is going on with Nick, the family, my new job, Mike’s travails at Fannie Mae, our dream of having Wayne Foley adapt our house to Nick, plans for Nick’s imminent departure to commence his college education at Virginia Tech, our challenges with medicaid and the immigration system, and all that continues in the saga that is known as the CafferkyNewNormal.

Obviously - with the new job, I have been pretty swamped, but I know that if it is God’s Will, I can keep this up.  I tried the Facebook thing, and I’m still doing it (addictive, short, allows for sarcasm and asynchronous relationships) but its mostly moms and girlfriends who want to read this stuff.  And strangers who are struggling in some way.

I wasn’t going to keep it up, but then an old friend told me that she established her own relationship with Christ through encouragement from this site (GOD BE PRAISED) and will be getting baptized this Easter.  When I heard that, I thought that maybe this is one of the ways in which I can serve God, give Him Glory, share some blessings, and, dare I say, miracles, and also humbly ask for prayer, support and even contributions to the Nick Cafferky Special Needs Trust.  (Just FYI - the work on the house will be around $168K if we can do it, and the motorized chair Nick needs for college will be no less than $33K - whew does this stuff add up!)

So should I keep it up?  Are you still reading?  I would appreciate hearing about anyone’s walk with the Lord, as this really encourages me.  Of course, i will be judicious with the information I share about work, as I am just lucky to have a job these days, and there’s no need to be career limiting!  Especially when our financial needs are so specific and Fannie Mae (Mike’s employer) has been getting a really raw deal lately and thus is not the security blanket it once was for the Caffs.

While I am here - I humbly ask you all to pray for BrianM. and his family, who are still fighting the good fight (and winning) against the nastiness that seems to have TEMPORARILY moved into his body.  I also ask you to pray for Joe the Fitness Guy from Great Falls, who is suffering from mesotheioma (sp?) which is NOT just some disease that you hear about on lawyer for hire commercials during true crime shows, but a really debilitating disease which is so ironic since Joe is so healthy looking and fitness driven in every way.

I want to thank Jo Anne Lewis who continues to plan what I hope will be our last or close to last fundraiser (a St. Patty’s Party at the Grange on March 13) and maybe one other effort by Peggy Mockett to help us out, so that we can get the Foley work done to our Great Falls Foley built home, so that we can stay in Great Falls, with Brendan (God Willing) graduating from Langley HS like his brother did. 

With that, I thank Wayne, Kyle and all of the other Foley’s and their team who have provided us with such a reasonable proposal to do the work to make our home handicapped accessible for Nick.  With God’s grace, some success in my new job and the generosity of friends during these dire financial times, I am so hopeful that we will be able to get the work done.  It seems like it would be a horrible waste of all of the time already put into the project, and the obviously aggressive negotiating done on our behalf by Mr. Foley, if we couldn’t do the work.  But, God’s Will be done.

I also ask for God’s continued blessings on the Kidz Clubhouse, an amazing organization that supports special needs kids and their families, and has been such a great resource in our fundraising and awareness efforts.  May Diane Anderson, her lovely family, and everything she cares about be gently, yet firmly held up and blessed by the MIGHTY HAND OF GOD.

Lastly - I thank the ladies in my bible study, Juli, Liz, Nancy and especially Luz, who have kept me grounded and in the Word during these weird and trying times.  May God bless all that they do and may they see the fruits of their prayers in this lifetime.

OK - so long post just to give some thanks and see if people are still interested.  Are you?  As long as God gives me words to say - I guess I will keep saying them.  And please remember - this is all for God’s Glory in the Name of Jesus.  The Cafferky’s are merely humble servants in the great improvisational act that is Life directed by God.

Thanks for listening!

Elisa, who loves God in the Name of Jesus and always will.

Tonight, we celebrate the birth of my Savior, Jesus the Christ with some old friend in our old neighborhood.  Thank you Doman’s and Nelson’s for being with us through all of the ups and downs.  Arguably, we are on an “up”.

 Please let us take some time to thank God for making Himself a little baby to be born to Mary, a woman highly esteemed by, God.  I often wonder if my boys would have chosen me to be their mom.  Regardless, God chose me for them, and I like to think that they could do worse.

I hope I am moved to share more tomorrow, but meanwhile, to all of you who continue to pray for us and have loved on us - Thank You.  Merry Christmas.  Happy Hanukkah.  And may 2009 be a year of blessings, good health and remarkable miracles for us all.  Because some of us think we are due…

Just kidding.  Jesus is Lord and Christmas is as good a time as any for me to tell  you all who read this, even those whom I don’t know or who I once knew and know no more, that I love you all with the spirit of Christ.  May we all be blessed and may you all get to know my Lord Jesus as I do in this next season.

Love,

Elisa 

Hi Friends, 

So I have never just run to my laptop to get something out to the masses like I have today.  I have to start by saying that I just got back from a really good interview with a guy with whom I could definitely work at a company that seems least likely what I would think I would end up at, working a territory that I have never covered.  After saying that, one might think that was a bad meeting, but its all in perspective, dudes.  I am actually really interested in the job.  Anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about here, but I had to get it out before I forgot it. 

Today’s topic is “Presence” and “Presents”.  I have something to say about this that I found not just “interesting” but also truly revealing.   As this place is for me to share with you everything (except for the filtered by the family or career limiting stuff), I am compelled to share this with you. 

So often, in this very blog, I have lamented about some particular person who had not been “Present” with me during a horrible ordeal (like my life these last 15 months).  Maybe they didn’t call, maybe they said “no” to something I needed from them, maybe they just weren’t “there with us” during the ordeal.  That being said, I think I have spent more time in gratitude to those who have been present with us, experienced “stuff” with us, and have held us up in prayer.,   I also try to take time to recognize (I hope), those who have gone out of their way to be “present” in my life, for a season or more, especially since I don’t write “thank you” notes or make those calls nearly enough.   The best of the best know who they are and their queen is Wendy, but I digress. 

As I thought about it more, I was surprised (and I promise I’m not trying to act all popular or anything) when I realized that I have been on the receiving end of all kinds of gifts from all kinds of people.  These gifts are like “stuff” that I can see or use or perhaps a “shared experience” to remember.  I am so totally lucky to have some really diverse and interesting “things” or “words saved” or “pictures” just even all around me at my desk or in my room or even as I go out into the world.  And I realized that some of the people that I may have been disappointed with in the “presence” category of this long exhausting season of my life, many of them are actually the ones who are pretty high up on the “present” side of the list, if I were to keep a list or score.  I have always gotten a lot of “presents” for birthdays, Hanukkah, Christmas, LanceDempsey’sBday, whatever.  There are people who remembered me (on a particular day, whatever it is) with a card or a gift or a call, and some, in fact, have given me some tangible things that, when I see them, or use them, cause me to think about that person and pray for them, at that moment.   I am going to say for the record, that there are a lot of people (again – why I am so lucky/blessed, I don’t know and I just thank God) that have provided “presence” AND “presents” in my life.  For example, today I wore 4 pieces of jewelry from 4 different people who all are on the “both” sides of this non-existent list.   

Because God has so enormously blessed me, with “presence” and “presents”, I feel that I must pray for whomever is “with” me at any particular moment.  So, it is not an exaggeration that I spend a good amount of time every day, praying for certain individuals  sometimes more than once along with my regular prayers in my personal relationship with Yeshua.   Chances are really good that if you are reading this right now, I have prayed or I am praying for you.  But also, there are a whole bunch of people that, I could be praying for at any moment just because of some “thing” or “memory” that I see.   

For example:  Today, I put on this perfume that I love that I have no idea what its called, but I know it came from Anthropologie, one of my favorite stores and my friend, LaurieP, gave it to me for some special day, although I’m pretty sure it was my bday 2007.   And I know her Birthday is imminent and she is in

Rome, so obviously I won’t have a “present” out to her on time, because I haven’t even picked it out yet.  So I stopped and prayed for Laurie.  Without even thinking about it.   Besides, I pray for her all the time anyway.    But it was the perfume spray that made me have to run downstairs and share this with you all. 

While it may be my personal opinion that being “present” in my life is more important to me than someone who has just given me “presents” over time, they are still both pretty cool.  And it also demonstrates that I pray a lot for a lot of people every day, which is not to brag, but just to say that this is how I have come to understand real GRATITUDE. 

[SIDEBAR:  Now do NOT go reading into this and psychoanalyze or personalize that you are someone who let me down in some way.  DON’T.  That is ridiculous, unproductive and would undo all that I am trying to say here.] 

Another example:  There is this guy that I know.  I actually would barely know him if he hadn’t been the best friend I ever had that I never met until I actually met him.  Then I met him, and it’s not like we hung out together or even worked at the same company at the same time or anything.  We have just always been “present” in each other’s lives, mostly during March Madness over the phone or by email.  But we are definitely “real” with each other and have shared some tragic times.  HOWEVER – during our worst time of need, this guy was actually “present”, in person, at the ICU with us, during the ordeal.  Not only that – but this dude would bring “presents” like the “Live Wire” soda he went to three different states to procure, and the Harley Davidson shirts that Brendan actually has in his rotation of shirts that he wears.  So, while I talk to this guy probably more than I talk to most people, I also have reminders of him all around me pretty much most of the time.  And you know what?  This guy gets prayed for A LOT.  Now, I don’t mean to act like me praying for you is all that important.  However, I always feel good when I know that someone is praying for me. 

Bottom line – there is “presence” and there are “presents”.  GRATITUDE is about noticing each, and being grateful to even get one.  I don’t want to get all goofy and Frank Capra-like, but this ordeal has brought me and my family so many GIFTS, that I can’t believe that I ever complain. 

I’m so blessed to have had all kinds of people in my life who have left their mark, as it were, on my life and thus get prayed for.  Some of these people A LOT.  Some of these people would find the thought that I prayed for them every day is “quaint” or “ridiculous” or something patronizing or mocking.  But I do anyway.  I cannot believe how many nice people have either spent a season or more being present in my life, nor can I believe the number of funny and cool and useful or completely not useful stuff (like a real sword from Jim Dallas – which is his real name – not a porn name like it sounds) that has been gifted to me by some really fine, quality, cool and dependable people, so I have had the privilege of enjoying the presence of these quality people in my life, but also being the recipient of number “presents” from these people.   Getting a “present”, let’s call it a “gift” for someone is the result of a relationship with that particular  ”Giver” that has created an obligation or commitment or affection or covenant or whatever reason to actually recognize certain days with some specific people.    

I love to give gifts.  Obviously, my gift giving is limited during this season, but I refuse to give  up on “gifting” those I care about.  I love to think about a person for a while and try to figure out what would be a cool gift.  As I shop for, or – surprise surprise, or perhaps “make” a gift for someone, you can rest assured that I am praying about them and for them while I work towards providing these friends or family or whatever they are.  I don’t like to give gifts out of obligation, but I will.  I love to give gifts totally random, but those days have been far and few between this last year.  But, whether they “bought” me a gift or gave me a thing or spent time with me on whatever, they are forever in the database.  And, if I should happen to pick up one of these gifts and have a shared memory that blesses for a moment, I pray for these people on the spot.  And you know what?  Figuring all that out has taught me a couple of truths that have soothed a burning spot in my heart. 

Today, my gift to you is this:  GRATITUDE.  Thanks.  Thanks for reading, writing, praying, giving, and sharing.  Know that I love every single one of you.  That is true. 

God is kind of telling me that this is it and I should post without edits, so I don’t even know how it will come out, and maybe it will change – Lord knows I need an editor! (Brendan did listen to me read it out loud so he kind of edited it) But take this gift of GRATITUDE from me, and pass it on to someone else, in the name of Yeshua, the Messiah, our Father G-d, and the Holy Spirit that gave me the courage to write all this down and put it out to the masses.   HAHAHA – Masses.  Like I’m a Catholic….see I have to ruin everything.
But Yeshua makes everything all better.  In His Name, I say THANK YOU. 

Nick and Brendan’s Mom.

[Special Note:  Link to Dewey Beach Surf and Rescue is on home page - watch it on TruTV monday:  http://www.trutv.com/shows/surf_and_rescue/index.html] 

So by now, we all know that the Hokies lost to ECU, and the Redskins lost in an ugly game against the Giants.  Obviously, the little things that tend to cheer me in my dark princess times are not always so easy to find.  I mention this because I am in this really negative stupid place that is obviously an insult to my Lord, and NOT representing well.  Its like, we have these really awesome people who want to help us fix up the house for Nick, yet unless I can get a high paying job soon, its all moot, because we can’t afford to live in this big house.  And Mike works all the time now, and we don’t really agree on much these days, and the debt thing is not helping, and frankly I have never felt so alone in my life.  Pretty ridiculous since I have so many great friends who continue to support me in my seemingly neverending time of need.

Today, I am grateful because my good friend’s son, who suffers from serious heart ailments since birth (he is Nick’s age), had some positive tests and encouraging news today, and she shared her relief with me, in a really positive and authentic way, and that gives me strength.  Unless you are a mom, I just don’t believe you can understand how helpless and frightening an unknown future for your child is.  But once I write this, I realize, none of us know the future, we are all helpless, and God did not create us to live in a spirit of fear.    This world is filled with crazy stuff – blessings and madness.  But oh how I wish I could just see the blessings and block out the madness. This week has been especially hard because I am trying to get back into the working world, which means putting on my work voice and big brain, while trying not to be the buzzkill of the night (for example:  Hi Elisa!  Where have you been lately?  Who do you work for now?)  I mean, I’m just coming off, what is destined to be a failed startup that I co-founded (Sawteeth), we mortgaged the house so I could do it, and now, what little money we had left is all gone due to our current circumstances, and its just a constant reminder to me of how temporary everything is.  And I hate it. 

I have interviewed one potential caregiver for Nick, who I liked a lot, but we need to talk to some other folks, too.  Until I hire someone, though, its hard for Nick and I to move forward with work/school/etc.  I spend way too much time worrying about this and forgetting that God got us this far - of course He will find us the perfect caregiver soon. 

I scheduled a trip to VA Tech in November so that Nick and I can visit the Services for Students with Disabilities (SSD) office so we can make a determination whether it is realistic for Nick to attend VT.  We are going to make a fun trip out of it, b/c on 11/6 Thursday ESPN game night is MD at VT, so we will head to the burg, praying for a Hokie victory but for some good plays by our favorite turtleboy, Austin, as he does his special teams thang on Lane Stadium field.  THen Friday we go to the SSD office for the interview.  Its so weird to think about going back to VT with Nick, when just over a year ago, he and I walked all over campus and talked about his future there, and now so much has changed.  But it’s the “new normal” right?  And it will be fun – Wendy will be coming too, and maybe we will get Lee Corso to wear a TeamNick shirt.  Or maybe we will save that for the UVa game, since tee-shirt girl is slumming it in Charlottesville now.   But I digress – see this is all of the meaningless stuff that seems to get me by day to day. 

A year ago, Brendan said that I wasn’t allowed to talk politics on this site.  And then, I got the lecture from Nick that this would not be a forum to share family secrets or strife.  So I won’t go into my struggles in my relationships with my family nor will I elaborate on my disobedience to God as I fear each next day.  But I will say this, I’m a McCain/Palin gal 100% and if you all want to add another page to argue these points, I say bring it on.   My consolation to the Redskins sorry opener (and don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the SKINS, and I am no fair weather fan – Nick and I will be at the game next Sunday with our handicapped parking and seats, and we might get to see our boys whoop up on the New Orleans Saints.)  Tomorrow is Nick’s first day at Kaiser Rehab for his new problem, the bursa/shoulder pain he has from the chair pushing and compensation.  We were spoiled at KKI – we shall see what our 4 approved visits can do for him.  I have spent this week on the phone with Medicaid administrators and Kaiser appt managers, doctors for me, Nick and Brendan, and with some luck and God’s grace, we will get through this week and next week with some progress on Nick’s physical ailments, get Brendan approved for 8^th grade healthwise, and I will get some counseling and hopefully join at least one bible study.  Because, without getting into some fellowship with some believers, I am afraid that I am going to, as Joe Gibbs said tonight at the Convention (surprise surprise – Coach is a Republican!) – when I veer from God’s game plan, there will be no victories.  And, I think I am due for some victory.  Now – not quite as due as John McCain is (Dear God – may it be your will for his service to our great country be rewarded by victory – but again I digress.) If this was my try-out for the book contract, I’m sure I would get the major rejection.  Its just me pouring out some stuff that if I don’t get out, I won’t be able to sleep, and tomorrow, with new rehab and Wayne Foley visiting later (which means I better clean up this embarrassing house he built before he gets here), I need to get some sleep. 

I want to thank Juls, Michelle (just jumping up and down with the Holy Spirit these days!), JoAnn, LB and Jack for their support this week and every week.  I promise you guys I will stop feeling sorry for myself.  I also want to thank DaveS who made me feel like I could be a “player” again, and thus has taken away some of my anxiety about work.  I promise this, when the time is right, I will be paying it all forward like no one has ever seen before.  I want to be the giver - not the receiver.  I am grateful, humble and excited to demonstrate my love for God, family, community and country in the months and years to come.

Please pray that Brendan has a great year at Cooper, we can get Nick some writing internships/work, our college search is fruitful and that we can find the right caregiver(s) for Nick so that I can make some money again, and dare I say, have a life of my own for a bit.  Yes – I am selfish – I want to stay in our beautiful house, I want B to graduate from Langley, I want to have some fun again, and I want something to look forward to.  What a freaking whiner I am.  But as I have said, things today are remarkably better than this time last year, and the Caffs continue to survive.  [Sidebar:  Did I ever tell you all about the Chicago trip when we were on the third floor of the Hampton Inn and the elevator died and Mike and some guy had to carry Nick down three flights of stairs, and then carry his chair?  Shout out to the nice Chicago man who helped out.  See, those can be funny stories in retrospect, but right now, I just can’t get over how much harder everything is for us.  Well, except parking – so we’ve got THAT going for us!]Thanks for listening.  Please pray that I can stop grieving the Holy Spirit by being so bitter about the people whose lives are so perfect and who have offended us (well – me – because nick doesn’t get offended by anything but bad calls in sports).  Please join me in my prayer that either this all gets easier, or I get better.  I thank you for your posts and emails and calls, and as long as you keep encouraging me to publish this stuff I will.   

By the way – if you got a spam email from Reunion.com from me – just ignore it.  Somehow it got my whole address book and now I’ve invited everyone who ever sent me an email an invitation to reunite with me.   I don’t recommend you do the same. 

Later,

The mentally unstable mamacaff

A promise is a serious thing.  When I make a promise, which I try NOT to do (in fact, a biblical/Godly perspective of a “promise” is an “oath” is very clear that God doesn’t want us making promises and swearing to this or that all willy-nilly, because there is always that chance that you might have to break that promise or oath), you can bet I will run through fire if I have to in order to keep that promise.  And I am just an extremely flawed and highly exhausted human, I’m no deity.  However, God did make me this (and other promises) so I wanted to explore here what some of those promises are, why they are actually relevant to me right now, and why I am so confident that these promises will be kept. I KNOW that the bible is God-Breathed, and I have had some pretty intimate conversations with My Lord over the years.  To be that “intimate”, you have to KNOW the Word.  Because the Word is God.   This is all explained in the New Testament in the Gospel of John – a really good first book to read if you are already from a Christian background and want to start digging into the Bible.  Sorry, I digress.  I just can’t emphasize enough how everyone should read the Old and New Testaments of the bible.  But that is definitely a hard sell on anyone these days.  I just happen to have been gifted with this insatiable yearning for the Word, so I’m blessed to have wanted to read it so much that I know it pretty well.  The more I am around the Word, the more I feel a connectedness with God that is totally more real than at least half of my “relationships” with other humans.  Knowing God (only possible through His Son, sorry mom and other Jewish readers – this is something God told me so who am I to argue with Him?) is the greatest gift anyone can accept.    

Back some time ago, when I spent most of my days studying and thinking about and reading about God and all of His friends and enemies, I was privileged to get to know His character as a Promise-Keeper  (that is actually kind of funny when I say it out loud but it is the best way I can describe my personal experience with Him).  Then, I had the opportunity to experience the promises of God for me, personally, which is really encouraging.  However, since most people would consider this all completely wacky, I don’t often volunteer things like “God says I’m undefeatable” or whatever amazing thing that He has promised me, personally, through His Word.  Sometimes I get a little incredulous myself.  I mean, what if these really are just books written by men?  Then those promises are meaningless – they are just words.  But since I have had this privilege to have God tell me this stuff directly, I would be insane if I didn’t listen to Him when He speaks to me.  You might think I’m insane thinking that God and I have hung out together, but that’s fine.  You decide:  Am I a liar, a loon or Lord-inspired?  You have to pick one.  To be sure that I don’t get all personal and creative, I do use the Bible (NIV Study Bible) as my guide as I approach God’s throne of Grace to keep things all managed and not too subjective.  God almost always has something for me when I am reading the bible or having fellowship with other believers in the Lordship of Yeshua, the Christ  Unfortunately, and with some really good excuses, I haven’t been in the Word as much as someone who is as needy as I am should be.   Instead of staying with some study or getting all hooked up with some Godly folks on a regular basis,  I have just found myself too busy or tired or blahblahblah  to read and fellowship with discipline and focus.  This is how the Devil/enemy has been able to grab me sometimes.  You know – like really – why would God be talking to me personally and why would He be involved in the Cafferky’s life when there are so many others more worthy, and frankly maybe He isn’t really that involved, because it is taking so long and all seems so un-doable.  And since we can’t see that mortgage payment for next July right now or because we can’t build a bathroom for Nick right now, that maybe that is just life hitting us over the head with a brick telling us that we no longer belong in Great Falls and we should just realize it and act accordingly.  However, I refuse to see it that way, which is definitely not the fiscally conservative view that is most appreciated around here.] Instead, I remember that God promised ME:  Elisa Cafferky a couple of things.  He made these things clear to me.  Some were conditional.  Some weren’t.   If anyone is interested, I can give you the list.  I have never even sat down and thought about it.  I just KNOW some things and I live in great confidence of them.  With that, this is what I know that is relevant to my family’s needs/hopes/desires: 

• If I honor my mother and father (which I totally do), then I will live long in the land that God has promised me.  (That is the 5^th Commandment)   Did God promise me Great Falls?  I don’t know, but I will say this:  With several people as my witnesses, I have wanted to live in
  Great Falls since high school when I first discovered this area when Lianne’s parents built their new house off Walker Road.   I just knew I needed to be there one day..  If it is God’s will, then He will make it absolutely possible.
• God allowed/enabled Moses/Aaron to do amazing things at a moment’s notice, with little planning or caucusing ahead of time.    This gives me confidence that, even though maybe our spreadsheets aren’t working out right now, that doesn’t mean that God cannot give us a skill or an opportunity or whatever to make it possible for us to buy more time here.  Just as our lives were all changed in a moment when Nick broke his neck last year, our lives could all change in a moment with a fabulous new job or a winning lottery ticket, or however God chooses to enable us at the exact time we will need it.  Who knows?  Maybe some of that Sawteeth/Fortify/Tacit/Bowstreet stock will all of a sudden become hugely valuable.  ANYTHING can happen.  I will worry that we will need so much more than we did before so that Nick can have a comfortable place to be at “home” and all of the resources he can get to be comfortable when he works and goes to college, God willing.  I’m still smart and aggressive, and I’m obviously motivated – at the very least the Lord will help me help myself.
• God fed all of the freed Hebrews in the desert.  Now, I can’t imagine it was that great being in the desert for 40 years, but God had His reasons for that, and I get it.  My point is that, even when things seem really not going according to plan, God will provide.  And He provides good stuff – tasty food, sweet water and opportunities for people to break bread and fellowship together.  HOWEVER:  this stuff is a day by day thing.  You can’t store up what God gives you to sustain you.  That was the deal with the manna.  God told ME, ELISA, personally, that just as He was with Moses, He is with me. 

So I’m not going to worry about how we are going to sustain our life.  Mike and I rarely pray together, usually just saying Grace at mealtime.  We do have a prayer that we often say together, though.  All we ask of God is for Him to allow us to keep on keepin’ on in this great life that we have right now.  To SUSTAIN/MAINTAIN this life that He has so graciously provided for us in Great Falls, VA.   Really – if you asked Mike if he ever prayed, I am sure he would admit that he has prayed this prayer many times with me over the years. 

So What, you say?  Well, it may not mean that much to you, but I know that  God made sure that Moses had exactly what he needed at exactly the moment he needed it to get himself and God’s people to the land that was promised to them.  I’m pretty confident that He can also use me to achieve some great things, to His Glory.  From the moment of Moses’ birth all the way to his death just outside of the Promised Land, God consistently set things up so that Moses had what he needed to achieve every strategic and tactical goal that God willed for His people.   I can give you a whole bunch of examples or point you to places if you want, but I can’t imagine anyone wants that kind of detail.  I have done pretty deep study into the 5 Books of Moses plus I know Joshua and Judges pretty well - Special thanks to Ann Bushnell and all the old MBC Precepts ladies.  I wonder if any one of them knows about my situation.   I hope that they would be proud of my behavior and faith thus far.  That’s the best benefit of having a bible study or some kind of formal fellowship with like-minded people:  it’s a good “accountability” group.  [Sidebar::  Joshua is my FAVORITE OT book and a character in that book is my very favorite woman in the whole bible.  Who out there knows my favorite Matriarch?] The point I am trying to make here is this: God made me, Elisa Cafferky, a promise 7 years ago, and He takes His promises pretty seriously and I write them down.  He told me, personally, that “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life.  Just as I was with Moses, I will be with you.  I will never leave you or forsake you..”  This is Joshua 1:5, and God gave it to me.  So, when I am faced with real challenges that seem impossible to overcome, I just remember God’s promise to me.  And then I think about what God did, over a period of MANY years, to provide Moses with exactly what he needed at the exact time he needed it.  This is all in the Five Books, which every good Jewish person has to at least have some access to.  But I digress.  You should look it up if you are interested.  If you want me to elaborate and more than one person wants that, then I will.  I’m no bible scholar and I have not been formally trained in this stuff – you can definitely do better than me for your tutor.  But I just want to throw out there that I will engage on this stuff with anyone, anytime, provided it stays civil and I am still able to care for the family and ultimately get some high paying job that will allow me to stay in this house for one more year.  One day at a time.  Like manna from God, if it is His will for the Cafferky’s to be where we are, then it will happen. 

I hope this wasn’t too rambling for you.  I won’t say that any thing that I ever say is divine, but I am certainly bold enough to claim that these words are inspired by God, through the Holy Spirit that lives in me and in many who are surrounding me.  As you can tell, I am feeling great pressure at this time, along with some other really uncomfortable feelings.  I write this post more to remind myself of what I KNOW, so that I can be encouraged.  I mean if I can’t encourage myself with the truth that I am trying to build my whole life and my family’s hope upon, how on earth can I even dare to try to live out the great proclamation, which is not merely a suggestion, from Jesus. 

Again, if this stuff makes no sense to you and you want to make some sense of it, I can tell you where to find it in the bible.  If you don’t care at all, just skip over it.  As I said – I am being selfish and writing for myself right now.  I probably would have written this all in the journal if I could write as fast as I think.  It’s my blog, and I can bible thump if I want to.  But I don’t want to chase anyone away either.  Take what you need/want and leave the rest.  The Caffs are off tomorrow for the weekend – road trip to Canton, OH to see NFL Hall of fame, on our way to theWindy

City to see both a White Sox and a Cubbies game, then power drive home.  When we return, it will be time to get a new caregiver for Nick (goal to have someone ready to start in 30 days),  close on some internships for Nick,  schedule our visits to Va. Tech  (and SHOCKING maybe UVA) to determine wjat school is most “do-able”,  get Nick applied to college, and to get Nick on a PT/OT schedule .  With all of that, I need to find a job so that we can sustain ourselves during this time while we are figuring out where we are going, if we are going and when.  One day at a time. 

Thanks for listening and for your prayers.  Please continue to pray for us, especially for safe travels and as little testosterone driven hostility as possible during the hours on the road.  Also a special thanks to CherylH for a really timely awesome gift/reminder and encouragement,    Also toJAL who I am certain will figure prominently in my life for years to come, and for all of you who have been so there for me and the Cafferky family during another crazy season in our incredible journey.  It’s going to be a great weekend.  And its all a LOT better than what we were doing exactly a year ago.  Praise God!

Shalom